It wasn’t a scandal, a betrayal, or even a drunken argument. It was silence. And for two men who’d known each other since they were 15, that silence lasted 20 months — until a podcast episode brought them back together. Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing, longtime co-stars of E4’s Made in Chelsea, finally cleared the air after their friendship nearly collapsed over a single invitation: a stag do that Matthews never attended — not out of spite, but because he didn’t think he needed to explain his sobriety.
The Stag Do That Broke a 21-Year Friendship
In early 2023, Jamie Laing, founder of confectionery brand Candy Kittens Ltd., invited his closest friend, Spencer Matthews, to his pre-wedding celebration. Matthews, who has been sober since January 2018 after marrying Vogue Williams at Babington House in Somerset, declined without comment. He assumed Laing understood. After all, they’d known each other since 2003, when they met as teenagers at Stowe School in Buckinghamshire. But Laing didn’t understand. He took it as a personal snub. "I didn’t know why he didn’t come," Laing later admitted. "I thought, ‘Is this about me? Did I do something?’" The silence that followed was deafening. Matthews didn’t show up at Laing’s wedding to Sophie Habboo on May 13, 2023 — also at Babington House — despite having officiated Laing’s own wedding in 2018. The distance grew.The Marathon That Exposed the Rift
By March 2024, the tension had become public. Laing completed a grueling 150-mile endurance challenge across Greater Manchester, raising exactly £2,053,835.00 for Comic Relief. The event, organized by BBC Sport under the Sport Relief banner, drew dozens of celebrity supporters — including fellow Made in Chelsea alum Oliver Proudlock, who stood at the finish line at MediaCityUK in Salford. Matthews didn’t appear. Not because he didn’t care — but because he wasn’t invited. "But obviously the BBC invited him," Matthews explained later. "Like, you don’t just turn up to Manchester and hope to bump into you guys. Had I come to support you, I wouldn’t have just driven to Manchester and hoped to see you." Laing’s response was quiet but revealing: "At the finish line, loads of people did turn up, but I also totally get you and I weren’t as friendly at the time. So, in our relationship here, if I wasn’t as friendly with you and you weren’t as friendly with me, then why would you turn up? We weren’t talking as much."
The Silence Between Two Friends
The breakdown wasn’t sudden. It was a slow unraveling. After the stag do refusal in January 2023, communication between them dropped to near zero. No texts. No calls. No social media interactions. The last time they spoke face-to-face was before Laing’s wedding in May 2023. For nearly two years, their friendship — forged in the halls of Stowe School and solidified through years of reality TV fame — existed only in memory. Meanwhile, fans noticed. Comment sections exploded. Tabloids speculated. Even Comic Relief, the charity behind the marathon, received inquiries about the absence of one of its most recognizable faces. But neither man spoke publicly — until the podcast.The Podcast That Fixed Everything
On May 28, 2024, Jamie Laing released the latest episode of his podcast, Great Company with Jamie Laing. The guest? Spencer Matthews. They didn’t dance around it. They sat down, faced the truth, and talked — really talked — for the first time in over a year. Matthews admitted he should have explained his sobriety. "I thought it was obvious," he said. "But I didn’t realize how much it hurt you. I should’ve said something." Laing, in turn, acknowledged his own assumption: "I thought you didn’t want to be there. I thought you were mad at me. I didn’t think you were just… being you." The reconciliation was quiet, sincere, and deeply human. No grand gestures. No social media posts. Just two men who’d grown up together, realizing that love doesn’t mean always understanding — it means asking.
Why This Matters Beyond Reality TV
This isn’t just a celebrity feud. It’s a mirror. How many friendships have ended because someone assumed the other knew their boundaries? How many relationships fractured because silence was mistaken for indifference? Matthews didn’t skip the stag do to avoid alcohol — he skipped it because he didn’t want to explain himself. Laing didn’t take it personally because he was petty — he took it personally because he loved his friend. Their story reminds us that the most dangerous words aren’t "I hate you." They’re "I thought you knew." Both men remain active in the Made in Chelsea universe. Matthews continues as CEO of Black Tomato Group Ltd., while Laing runs Candy Kittens Ltd. and hosts his podcast. They’ve since resumed regular contact — dinners, texts, even plans for a future trip together. The marathon raised over £2 million. But the real victory? A friendship saved.Frequently Asked Questions
Why didn’t Spencer Matthews attend Jamie Laing’s stag do?
Spencer Matthews declined the invitation because he has maintained continuous sobriety since January 2018 after marrying Vogue Williams. He believed his commitment to sobriety was well-known and didn’t feel the need to explain his absence. He didn’t realize Jamie interpreted the refusal as a personal slight, not a lifestyle choice.
How much money did Jamie Laing raise for Comic Relief with his marathon?
Jamie Laing raised exactly £2,053,835.00 during his 150-mile endurance challenge across Greater Manchester in March 2024. The event, organized by BBC Sport under Comic Relief’s Sport Relief initiative, exceeded its fundraising target and drew widespread public attention — including speculation about Matthews’ absence.
When and where did Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing first meet?
They met in September 2003 as 15-year-old students at Stowe School in Buckinghamshire, England. Their friendship spanned over two decades, including shared experiences on Made in Chelsea, mutual weddings at Babington House, and professional collaborations in London-based businesses.
How was the friendship officially repaired?
The reconciliation occurred during a candid episode of Laing’s podcast, Great Company with Jamie Laing, released on May 28, 2024. Matthews apologized for not communicating his reasons for skipping the stag do, and Laing admitted he’d misinterpreted the silence as rejection. They agreed to prioritize open dialogue moving forward.
Did other Made in Chelsea stars know about the rift?
Yes. Fellow cast members like Oliver Proudlock noticed the distance and confirmed the two hadn’t been seen together publicly since early 2023. However, no one intervened publicly, respecting their privacy. Proudlock did attend Laing’s marathon finish line, highlighting the contrast with Matthews’ absence.
What’s the long-term impact on their careers and public image?
The reconciliation has strengthened their public image as authentic, emotionally intelligent figures. Rather than appearing dramatic or superficial, their honesty about miscommunication resonated with fans. Both continue to thrive professionally — Matthews at Black Tomato Group Ltd., Laing at Candy Kittens Ltd. — and their renewed friendship has become a quiet symbol of resilience in modern relationships.
